I have read a recent interview in a particular magazine that has focused on the horrendous scandal that you were a part of. First off, let me apologize for the horrid crime that has been committed against you. As a fellow woman, I feel for you. Your most private affairs were stolen from your phone and placed for all the world to see.
My letter to you is not to offend you, or to put you at the stake, but rather to rebuttal the last sentence that you wrote when asked about the scandal. I won't go into what is moral or what is not in a relationship. I won't go into church doctrine, or even individual values. I won't criticize those that should know that in this day in age whatever we put on our phones or on our computers is nowhere near private. That is not the point.
I will however, pick a fight at your last few words;
I don't think you should have to apologize for the crime that happened to you. I do think you should have to apologize to the woman you made feel inadequate with your statement and the many men you have judged with having a weak will as well as stereotyping men as a whole, with those few words.“I started to write an apology, but I don’t have anything to say I’m sorry for,” she said. “I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”
As a woman, I often feel inadequate. The magazines tell me my face has to many blemishes, the stores tell me that my skirt size is too big. A flip of the channel and I will realize I cannot compare to the models, actresses and other beautiful women out there. I am told tips and tricks to try to "fix" myself as a woman; dress sexy for your man, tease him, tantalize him... so that he stays.
Why? Why should I hate the body I have and constantly mold it into something that will never be? Why should I be told that if I don't send my boyfriend/fiancé/husband nudes that HE is SO weak and can't control himself that I have to provide those photographs otherwise he will cheat on me with porn.
Why should I have to worry " is last picture I sent scandalous enough". Why must I think that my boyfriend/fiancé/husbands willpower is so weak and that he needs constant self gratification. NO. I don't believe you are right Ms. Lawrence, and correct me if I am wrong, but I think that you too may be affected by the media and possibly share some of the same feelings that I have; feeling inadequate.
We as women ARE good enough. I am happy that you have been in a loving, healthy relationship for four years but I think that your reasons for sending those pictures of yourself are demeaning, to yourself. You may refute my statement by saying that I am naive if I think differently about men, especially those who are in a long distant relationship.
No, I simply hold males to a higher standard and believe that they are stronger than the flesh, and you Ms. Lawrence, you are good enough.
Respectfully,
A fan, a wife, a woman who IS good enough.
***This post was originally published Monday, October 13, 2014***
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